The handcuff between the oppressors and the oppressed is cemented in fear. That is, the ‘bond’ exists for as long as the oppressors are allowed, by the oppressed, to instill fear and guilt in them; and the oppressed need their protection from hostile forces. The oppressor can be anyone: a manipulative politician, a self conscious manager, a self righteous teacher, an insecure priest, or your father. This relationship usually begins with your father or an authority figure when you are most vulnerable and malleable. And, it lingers on long after you leave home.
Not all fathers are authoritarian or oppressors. But, for those who are, they only hear their voices. They speak loud and rough. They use their eyes to transmit their messages secretly and threateningly; while they use their hands and arms for making sure that the others got their messages. So much for a meeting of minds and hearts. Dialogue is a threat to the rule of the oppressors. Monologue is safe.
As a result, you are taught their meaning of ‘strength’ and ‘weakness’.
If you are ‘strong’, then you enjoy the right to impose your will on the others. Identify yourself with the oppressors in your life. But, if you’re the opposite, that is, too weak to impose your will on the others, then keep your lip sealed tight, and abide by the rules.
Can Lucas free himself from this behavioral pattern, this web of destructive beliefs? Does he have the courage to search for the key to release himself from the handcuffs?
Are you Lucas? Are you Lucas to yourself? To your child? To your friend?
(‘Lucas’ was first mentioned in What glitters is not necessarily gold: The Golden Rule)
Not all fathers are authoritarian or oppressors. But, for those who are, they only hear their voices. They speak loud and rough. They use their eyes to transmit their messages secretly and threateningly; while they use their hands and arms for making sure that the others got their messages. So much for a meeting of minds and hearts. Dialogue is a threat to the rule of the oppressors. Monologue is safe.
As a result, you are taught their meaning of ‘strength’ and ‘weakness’.
If you are ‘strong’, then you enjoy the right to impose your will on the others. Identify yourself with the oppressors in your life. But, if you’re the opposite, that is, too weak to impose your will on the others, then keep your lip sealed tight, and abide by the rules.
Can Lucas free himself from this behavioral pattern, this web of destructive beliefs? Does he have the courage to search for the key to release himself from the handcuffs?
Are you Lucas? Are you Lucas to yourself? To your child? To your friend?
(‘Lucas’ was first mentioned in What glitters is not necessarily gold: The Golden Rule)
Thought provoking post. :-)
ReplyDelete