Pages

Saturday, August 4, 2012

Selling By Not Selling


Don’t you detest sales people who shove their products right in your face? They believe you need it. But, they are perplexed as to why you don’t end up buying their product. And the reason why you don’t buy their product? Well, it’s very simple: either you don’t need it or you don’t like their approach. Their product may be the best thing since slice bread; but unless they change their sales pitch or approach, you are not going to buy even if you need the product.

Sales people are not the only ones scratching their heads. Believers, proselytizers, ideologues, and their likes can’t seem to get into their heads as to why people do not accept the truth of their beliefs and ideas. The more they push their ‘products’ in people’s faces, the more people resist. Naturally, they blame the people for being blind to their truth. They never once thought that it was ethically wrong to force and even to persuade people. Their tactics are psychologically abusive. They never stop to reflect that perhaps the whole approach is completely wrong. It’s hilarious that if the tables were to be turned on them, they too would naturally detest having someone else’s products shove right in their faces.

This is what happens when the religious, political and philosophical ‘sales people’ believe that their notion of truth is the one and only truth, the only correct path towards truth. If they had enough compassion and human understanding, they would not try to persuade people of their truth. Adopting a wider notion of truth, and open-mindedness, would naturally direct their attention away from imposing their notion of truth towards educating people to realize their own.

In order to make them realize their own truth, it would be necessary for them to wrestle with their biases. And this is where Socrates’ metaphor of a midwife comes in handy. Socrates was, from the perspective of his adversaries, a gadfly. But, a gadfly is very irritating. I don’t think that if our approach was to ‘annoy’ people, it would do no good for they would just clam up. I prefer the metaphor of a ‘mid wife’ who assists in the delivery of new born baby – in our case – new perspective about one’s self and life in general.

So, how does one, a caring and tender mid wife, bring about a new perspective? How does one show the way for the other to accept his weaknesses and the need to change? In other words, in sales talk, how do you get people to choose you so they may buy your product?

To answer that in detail would require more than a blog space. So, let me tell you of Chinese story about 2 wise men who wanted to teach the people of the village. Said the first wise man to the people:

“You need to change because your ways of life are immoral. Your ideas and beliefs are all wrong, and you need me to educate you.” No one wants to be told that he is wrong, that he’s been living a lie for the most part of his life. Because this ‘wise man’ confronted the people of the village head on (in the same manner as that of the presumptuous sales person), the people of the village resented him, and killed him.

The other wise man took a totally different approach in dealing with the people. He befriended them, ate with them, slept with them, worked with them, attended their social gatherings, told stories with them, cried when stories about their lives were told, dressed like them, obeyed their customs, and respected their values. Gradually, the people of the village learned to trust and love and respect the wise man. Now, as soon as they did, the wise man went to work to educate them, and the people of the village welcomed his teachings with open arms.

But, he did not teach them his truth. Instead, he brought out to light the limitations of their perspective, the goodness in them to want to change. For that, they changed. For the good.