Don’t you detest sales people who shove their products right
in your face? They believe you need it. But, they are perplexed as to why you don’t
end up buying their product. And the reason why you don’t buy their product?
Well, it’s very simple: either you don’t need it or you don’t like their
approach. Their product may be the best thing since slice bread; but unless
they change their sales pitch or approach, you are not going to buy even if you
need the product.
Sales people are not the only ones scratching their heads.
Believers, proselytizers, ideologues, and their likes can’t seem to get into
their heads as to why people do not accept the truth of their beliefs and
ideas. The more they push their ‘products’ in people’s faces, the more people
resist. Naturally, they blame the people for being blind to their truth. They
never once thought that it was ethically wrong to force and even to persuade
people. Their tactics are psychologically abusive. They never stop to reflect
that perhaps the whole approach is completely wrong. It’s hilarious that if the
tables were to be turned on them, they too would naturally detest having
someone else’s products shove right in their faces.
This is what happens when the religious, political and
philosophical ‘sales people’ believe that their notion of truth is the one and
only truth, the only correct path towards truth. If they had enough compassion
and human understanding, they would not try to persuade people of their truth.
Adopting a wider notion of truth, and open-mindedness, would naturally direct
their attention away from imposing their notion of truth towards educating
people to realize their own.
In order to make them realize their own truth, it would be
necessary for them to wrestle with their biases. And this is where Socrates’
metaphor of a midwife comes in handy. Socrates was, from the perspective of his
adversaries, a gadfly. But, a gadfly is very irritating. I don’t think that if
our approach was to ‘annoy’ people, it would do no good for they would just
clam up. I prefer the metaphor of a ‘mid wife’ who assists in the delivery of
new born baby – in our case – new perspective about one’s self and life in
general.
So, how does one, a caring and tender mid wife, bring about
a new perspective? How does one show the way for the other to accept his
weaknesses and the need to change? In other words, in sales talk, how do you
get people to choose you so they may buy your product?
To answer that in detail would require more than a blog
space. So, let me tell you of Chinese story about 2 wise men who wanted to
teach the people of the village. Said the first wise man to the people:
“You need to change because your ways of life are immoral.
Your ideas and beliefs are all wrong, and you need me to educate you.” No one
wants to be told that he is wrong, that he’s been living a lie for the most
part of his life. Because this ‘wise man’ confronted the people of the village
head on (in the same manner as that of the presumptuous sales person), the
people of the village resented him, and killed him.
The other wise man took a totally different approach in
dealing with the people. He befriended them, ate with them, slept with them,
worked with them, attended their social gatherings, told stories with them,
cried when stories about their lives were told, dressed like them, obeyed their
customs, and respected their values. Gradually, the people of the village
learned to trust and love and respect the wise man. Now, as soon as they did,
the wise man went to work to educate them, and the people of the village
welcomed his teachings with open arms.
But, he did not teach them his truth. Instead, he brought
out to light the limitations of their perspective, the goodness in them to want
to change. For that, they changed. For the good.
