It must have been when Chris was in his teens. He came up to me, and in a soft voice, he asked,
“Do you want me to be like you and mom?”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“I mean, do I have to have a profession that society approves of?”
“Well, don’t put me with rest of the guys. I became a philosophy teacher and Papa and Mama weren’t so happy about my decision. Papa was silent. But, Mama kept on reminding me that I could still be a lawyer.”
“Yeah, Dad, that’s what I mean. Do I have to be like your brothers, a lawyer, a doctor?”
I was the last person to tell anyone to be that, although I have nothing against those who chose the kind of professions that society approves of.
I usually don’t like looking at anyone in the eyes. But, when it is called for, as in this case, I can gaze at anyone, as if to say, “Listen, for I am about to tell you something very serious. So, I looked into Chris’ eyes and spoke the words that have, I believe, an everlasting influence not only him, but also on his siblings. I said,
“Never try to be what you don’t want to be. Never be like anyone, just to get society’s approval or your parents’ approval. But, there’s one thing that I demand of you, and your brother and sister, I want you to be like me and your Mom. I want you to always learn your craft. I want you to develop self esteem, self determination, self-discipline, self confidence. I want you to continuously develop values that you will need when I am gone. Yes, don’t be a professor, or a lawyer, or a doctor, or an accountant, or an engineer. Be the best that you can be in whatever you choose to be. It’s not about having a title. It’s’ about being the best that you can be.”
Since then, Chris continuously yearns to gain knowledge about his interests. He has gone farther than any yoga instructor that he has come across. He’s become a chef that many senior chefs can be proud of. He has even gone farther than I did in understanding Indian philosophy.
This is not about being a yoga instructor or a chef or a great reader of a particular philosophy. It’s about realizing one’s potentials and developing them as much as one can. Happiness, Aristotle once said, is the actualization of one potentials. In one word: self-actualization.
