Does a Detached Person lack commitment?

Some of you asked me if a person who practices detachment would be without commitment to anything to which he is detached. If we were to let go of things, there would be no passion, no commitment, just indifference.

In my two previous posts, I have been talking about attachment and detachment. But, what is attachment? What are we to let go of when we practice attachment? Let’s take some examples of attachment.

Some Examples of Being Attached
When you wake up in the morning, and you utter these words, “Oh, God, it’s Monday.” This implies that this new day is like no different from other Mondays before it. And, this new day promises nothing new.

You had experienced that gave you pain. You decide to be afraid of it and therefore will want to avoid it at all cost.

You had encountered something in the past that gave you much positive experience. Subsequently, you want to relive the past experience in the present as well as in the future. You search for a similar situation, and you expect the same experience.

The problem with treating every Monday as though it is no different from past Monday is that you don’t give the present and yourself a chance to experience something new. Instead, you bring along the image of past Mondays and paste it on the new day. The term ‘Monday’ is just a word that we attach to a certain day. But the day itself, the present itself, is always something new.

While you may have experienced something in the past that caused you pain, physical or otherwise, fear - which is different from pain itself - is produced when you wish to avoid it. Ironically, by attempting to avoid the pain, fear intensifies.

Enjoying something in the past and wanting to have the same experience in the future are two different moments. In your very first encounter, you did not expect or anticipate that you were going to receive a positive experience. To expect it to happen again is a form of attachment that produces ‘pleasure’.

Detachment
In all of these cases, attachment is an act of indifference towards the present moment ‘where’ something new always happens. Attachment is act of repeating the past in the present and in the future. And, when reality ‘bites’- surely, it will - the result is one of disappointment and despair.

The person who practices ‘detachment’ does not forget the past, but neither is he attached to it. While he is aware that today is marked as Monday, he bears himself to the ‘new’ day and so is receptive to new things that arise during that day.

While the ‘detached’ person has experienced pain in the past, of which he remembers, he is not ruled by fear. A detached person therefore faces what caused him pain so he may understand it, embrace it. Consequently, he lives without fear. (Yes, it is possible and attainable.)

We must remember that the Buddha, who practiced detachment, was compassionate, loving and understanding. A detached person, therefore, is one who is far more committed to learning new things, and treating people as absolute values.

Attachment, therefore, avoids commitment because commitment requires that one lives in the ‘now’.

The Living Truth

Truth is very difficult to define. So let us take up some examples of truth, or of how we use the word, 'truth.'

Mathematical truth. "Two plus two" is equal to "four." We say this is true. The opposite is false when we say "two plus two" is equal to "three."

Empirical truth. If I say "I have an elephant in my shirt pocket', then it is false because it is an empirical fact that there is no elephant in my shirt pocket. It is a fact and true when I say that there is a pen in my shirt pocket. This is an empirical truth because anyone, not just me, can see that there is a pen in my shirt pocket.

Biblical truth. If I say that "Christ is merely a man, not a son of God," then it is false because Christians believe that Christ is the Son of God, born without sin. While mathematical truth is based on logic, and empirical truth is based on the senses, biblical truth is based on one's faith. We can say that different truths have different bases.

There is another meaning of truth that is not necessarily based on the aforementioned. This truth is derived from, and created by, one's life. It is a truth that enables one to realize more of his or her nature and destiny. However, this truth is extremely difficult - and, at times, dangerous -to discover because it requires that one has to first accept one's ignorance, that is, that one does not know everything. Not everyone is willing to accept one's weaknesses. Everyone likes to know his or her strengths. Everyone wants to show off his or her strengths. Unfortunately, many cringe at the sight of their weaknesses. Knowing their weaknesses are actually a big step to knowing their selves. It takes moral courage to face them.

Many of us are afraid to know the 'dark side' of one's personality because we have something to hide from the others especially from ourselves. Through the years, we have built up an image of ourselves that we show to other people and to ourselves. This is a false image, a pretension. And it takes so much time and energy to keep up that façade that we actually become weary and stressed out. Furthermore, we become defensive when we sense that people can see through the façade (mask). The more masks we wear, the more we don't know ourselves; and the more we become ignorant and arrogant.

Why do we wear masks? Why do we lie to ourselves and to the others? We lie because we depend on the approval of the others. We want people to like us. There is nothing wrong with that. But, people might like us for the wrong reasons. And worst of all, we might love ourselves for the wrong reasons.

How do we free ourselves from all of these wrong reasons? How can we allow others to accept us for who we are? The answer is to first accept who we are. So, when we have humbly accepted our strengths and embraced our weaknesses, people will (eventually) accept and respect us for who we are. As a result, the truth about who we are sets us free to be who we are and can be.

Philosophy, God, and Honesty

Fear, Vengeance, and Conformity

Some of us had the misfortune of questioning the existence of God. I say misfortune because questioning the existence of God can cause stress and anxiety, but more importantly, a loss of innocence. One wished one had not been too aware of the contradiction between what people believe in and what they do. They believe in a God that is all good, and that teaches to do good even to our enemies. Yet, those same believers do the very opposite as soon as they step out of the church. One wished one had not been aware of the discrepancy. For that leads to other questions that could threaten their peace of mind.

For instance, one asks: "Why do I have to go to mass? It does not make sense to me. We follow those rituals and people kneel and mutter words 'Our Father who art in heaven...' without truly understanding the meaning."

One observes that people go to mass because it is Sunday, and we, Filipinos, are predominantly Catholic; and not going to mass will cause bad karma.

One observes people praying for their safety, and the assurance that their future would be exactly what they had prayed for: protection from murderers, untimely accidents; and financial stability. If they are into lottery, they pray hard to win $20,000,000 at least that could secure their financial for the rest of their lives.

One observes that the priests and religious laymen claim to have a special access to God's mind: they know, with great certainty, what God has in His mind. And, given that, they privileged themselves with the power to command loyalty from their own fellowmen. They are also sure that other religions are inferior to the Catholic faith that they lambast the non-Chrisitian for not accepting Jesus Christ as their one and only savior.

You turn on the t.v. to a channel you did not intend. But, you stay on for awhile because the t.v. evangelist was talking about how God can provide you the money you could have ever dreamed for, if only you pray for it. Seek and shall be yours. Ask for money from God, you'll get it.

You notice, too, that many of those who take religion seriously are those who are 'young at heart'. They feel their body aching every day. Gone were the days when they could jump and feel no pain. Pain reminds them of their frailty, of their mortality. "Life is short', they say, 'but I do not want to believe that this earthly life is all there is. There must be something else, something beyond the grave"

In other words, you notice that people believe in angels and devils and in a supreme god out of fear, vengeance, and conformity. And, you wished that you had not been too aware of this. Innocence is sweet, and peaceful. Yes, you feel physical pain when you accidentally trip and fall to the ground; but you don't lose sleep over it because 'it's a small thing'. You can recover from it. However, the loss of innocence targets your heart and mind. The pain you feel is not physical, but emotional and mental. It does not go away that easily. Sometimes, it does not go away. For some, it never does. That's because you, too, once believed out of fear, vengeance, and conformity. You should have been like 'everybody else.'

Philosophical explanations

 Why does 'everybody else' believe in a god the way he or she does? Let's begin understanding why 'everybody else' believes in a god out of fear, vengeance, and conformity.

Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970) was a mathematician, logician, political theorist, educationist, ethicist, and a social critic. He is an atheist, who once was a Christian believer. In his book, Free Man's Worship, he writes:

Bertrand Russell

Religion is based, I think, primarily and mainly upon fear. It is partly the terror of the unknown and partly, as I have said, the wish to feel that you have a kind of elder brother who will stand by you in all your troubles and disputes....A good world needs knowledge, kindliness, and courage; it does not need a regretful hankering after the past or a fettering of the free intelligence by the words uttered long ago by ignorant men.

People cannot bear not knowing what the future would be. It is true that people are aware of the fact that they cannot know the future. Their mortality and human frailty reminds them time and again the size of their brain. And, it is this reminder that they experience their greatest fear of the Unknown. "What lies in the future? No, what really lies in the future? I know that I don't know, but I want to know." Religion provides the consolation they desire, not the truth.

Sigmund Freud

Another thinker, with a scientific background, explains this phenomenon. The founder of psychoanalysis, Sigmund Freud (1856 -1939), delves deeper into the recesses of the human mind, and discovers the Unconsciousness. Freud argues that much of what we consciously do is determined by the workings of the unconsciousness. Freud claims that our so called good intentions are greatly influenced by our most basic instincts, namely, sex and aggression. In his book, Totem and Taboo, Freud theorizes the origins of religion. The father of a tribe, whose sons envy the father's access to the tribe's women, plans out to overwhelm and kill him. Despite their success, the sons fail to fulfill their desire to emulate their father, due to competition amongst themselves. Thus, religion arises out of frustration - to emulate their father - and guilt - for killing the father. The process is the same for all societies, be they Western or Eastern. Eventually, in the face of helplessness and guilt, mankind creates a god. In Freud's view, the 'created' God is a projection of the unconscious mind. This explanation is based on Freud's observation of children who feel helpless and guilty, and who needed a figure (figure of authority) to protect them from harsh reality. Religion, in other words, is a childish delusion.

To put Freud's theory in another way: all of us, as children, experienced fear in something that we do not know. We also experience things and people who can harm us. Our only means of survival is throw ourselves to our father, who appears to us children as the most powerful, most admirable being in the world. As we grow up, although we still admire and love and respect our fathers, we have outgrown the father. But we have never outgrown our fear of the Unknown. We feel the awesome power of the storm, the earthquake, death. We seek a more powerful figure of authority, a father figure, the creator of these natural events. Isn't it a surprise why god is considered a male?

Is there a way out?

Despite these philosophical attempts at explaining our 'weekly' observations of people who cling to god; who go to mass every Sunday; who don't practice what they preach, is there a way for you, the reader, to free yourself from fear, and to believe in a god? That is, is it possible for one not to fear the unknown and be able to believe in a god? Is god real, not a creation of one's mind? Is there a god apart from me?

But, why believe in a god? Many, like Bertrand Russell, reason that one should not believe in a god for religion oppresses his individuality, his freedom to be what he can be. Should one decide not to believe in a god, just because he does not want to be oppressed? Should we bet on God's existence?

Blaise Pascal (1623 – 1662) a Christian apologist argues that, if reason fails you to make up your mind on whether or not to believe in God, then let us wager. He writes:

Blaise Pascal

But there is an eternity of life and happiness. And this being so, if there were an infinity of chances, of which one only would be for you, you would still be right in wagering one to win two, and you would act stupidly, being obliged to play, by refusing to stake one life against three at a game in which out of an infinity of chances there is one for you, if there were an infinity of an infinitely happy life to gain. But there is here an infinity of an infinitely happy life to gain, a chance of gain against a finite number of chances of loss, and what you stake is finite. It is all divided; wherever the infinite is and there is not an infinity of chances of loss against that of gain, there is no time to hesitate, you must give all...

What have you got to lose if you decide to believe in God? If you decide not to believe in God, and should God exists, you lose everything, including immortality of life. If you decide not to believe in God, and should there be no God, then you lose nothing. Believe in God, and there is a god, then you win everything, including immortality of life, and a chance to live in heaven.

Being Honest

As for me, I'm not entirely sure that this is the way out. This would not give the peace of mind that I am looking for. So, let me propose what I think is a way out. Here is the situation.

Say that I believe in a God because I am afraid for myself, I seek God's punishment for those who wronged, and because many people believe in God. Say that I also believe in a God on the basis of a wager. I die. I become a soul. I see myself rising out of the body, rising higher and higher, and I see Peter at the gate. I greet him, but he greets me with book of my life. All that I have done Peter knows, is written in that book. Peter smiles. He looks up and says, " You have bet on God's existence. You believed that you believe in Him, because you are afraid for yourself. And, you follow the rules just as anyone would knowing that he's being watched. In other words, you are not honest in your belief." Am I then barred from entering through the gates of heaven because I have been dishonest? I'll leave that for you to decide.

In another situation, much as I tried, I could not get myself to believe in God, for that would be dishonest. I die. There is heaven. There is God. There is Peter waiting for me at the gates of heaven. He greets me, then he reads the records of my life. Peter knows that I don't believe in God. But, Peter also knows that I have been fiercely honest with myself. If peter admires honest people, he should allow me to go through the gates of heaven. But, does he? I'll leave that for you to decide.

Philosophy and the issue of God

It would have been a nice ending to our spiritual journey if there indeed is a God, and I have been honest about believing in a supreme being. But that would be wishful thinking on our part. We are serious. We took up this issue because it matters a lot to us. Unlike the others who question God out of anger or resentment, we decided to take up the issue because we desire to know. We may not come to know THE Truth, but at least we are sincere, because we are driven by our desire for truth.

No one, not even philosophers can decide for you. However, the philosophical spirit can show you how to decide. Philosophy, the love of wisdom, is also the desire of and for truth. It's all we got to stay honest and dignified. It builds character and wisdom. It overcomes fear and inauthenticity. Your only reward (and consolation) in taking up the philosophical attitude is that you have done your best in being honest with, and true to, yourself. This is just the beginning.